Unclassical Fairy Tale
by Angel Fantasy
Summary: In which Leverrier learns that pissing off Timcampy is not the right thing to do. Crack fic.


_After being silent for a year and a few months, I show signs of life by posting this little drabble of mine, which has been posted on the fourth kinkmeme months ago._

_Request:_

***smirk***

**Ok, here a crack for the brave. A story between Leverrier and Timcampy.**

**Imagination is free.**  
><em><br>DGM and its the characters are not mine.  
><em>

_Enjoy!_

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><p>Unclassical Fairytale<p>

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><p>There was once in a forgotten fairytale an angry yellow golem named Timcampy. The angry golem was angry because the Tyrant King from the neighboring country, Malcolm C. Leverrier VI, had sentenced its master to death for harbouring feelings for the heir to the Throne, Howard Link I (who liked him back too). Poor Timcampy was feeling all alone now that its master, Earl Walker XIV, had been eaten whole by its friend Atuda (whom had been forced to do it lest its own master be killed).<p>

To appease its anger, Timcampy begin to attack the Tyrant King's country. It ate villagers whole, destroyed houses, electrocuted their crops and always left desolation in its path. With this much destruction occurring in his land, Tyrant King Malcolm C. Leverrier VI sent his Crow Army after the golem to destroy the nuisance. In his anger, he forgot to order his subjects to watch over his pet slave Atuda. So Howard Link I, depressed at losing the first love of his life, sneaked off to the third class jails and set Atuda free in exchange to be eaten alive, so he could go join Earl Walker XIV's side in Death's arms.

Atuda accepted, ate him alive, freed its master and flied away from the dark castle that held him captive for the last decade. On its way to freedom, it encountered Timcampy throwing an apocalyptic temper tantrum on the country's capital, Central. The angry golem was jumping around the town and shedding acidic tears on the houses, shrieking its pain to the sky. The sound was so discorded that it killed all who heard it instantly. The Crow Army miserably died before it could do anything.

When there was nothing to destroy in Central, Timcampy continued its path and sent to rubble Central's baby, Vatican. After its destruction, Atuda decided it had held its secret long enough and bumped its big brother into a ravine, where they both fell. There, Atuda consoled the yellow golem long enough to stop its acid tears, and then spit out the sleeping bodies of Earl Walker XIV and Howard Link I.

Before Timcampy's disbelieving teary eyes, Atuda calmly reminded it that it was a healing golem and not a killing one. When it ate Earl Walker XIV and Howard Link I, its stomach simply put them to an irresistible dream-filled sleep to keep the two from walking in its insides, a bad habit that injured patients often developed in hospitals due to boredom. Atop its head, its master Zhu confirmed its statement.

Overjoyed, Timcampy nudged its master until he cracked open his eyes and sat up looking around in utter confusion before telling him 'welcome back' by licking him all over. Howard Link I awoke to the uncontrolled laughter of his lover being tickled by its golem, and a happy reunion followed. Master Zhu smiled at the reunited group and Atuda grinned. When they were about to part, Timcampy asked Atuda to guard its masters for a while before flying away quickly.

The previously angry golem flew towards Tyrant King Malcolm C. Leverrier VI and became angry one final time over his castle. After thoroughly destroying the dark building, it came over to the man who was furiously waving a fist in its direction while cursing its existence in all the languages he knew. Timcampy recorded all the swearwords until the man had nothing left to say, grinned toothily at him, and rolled over his body until there was only a gorish pancake of blood, flesh and cracked bones left in its wake. Then it shed acidic tears over the mess, electrocuted it, blew away its ashes and threw all the curse words it recorded back at the damned soul at max volume. Thus ended the hideous reign of Tyrant King Malcolm C. Leverrier VI, and the surviving townspeople lived in peace for centuries afterwards.

As for Timcampy, it rolled over to wash itself in the river, flew back to Atuda, thanked it for everything and took its masters on a journey across the world so they could have glorious make up sex in every hotel of the world for free before they died.

The End.

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_ Yeah, I know I've been absent from you all for a very long time, and I'm disbelief myself at how much time has passed already. I've missed you all. I hope you guys have missed me too, and that none of you are angry due to built up frustration at waiting for one of my incomplete stories to get finished. If it can comfort you, plot bunnies are still running wild in my brain and more than half of them bite my ass on a daily basis in an attempt to get me to write them on paper. I haven't written any new stories apart this one, though I have made up quite a few summaries of possible DGM stories... That have way too many plot holes for me to think they'll be successful on ffnt. Gah._

_I'll be honest with you guys: I don't feel right in the head and in the heart, and this has been going on for the past two and a half years. I've only just discovered this now though. From random physical bouts of pain to agonizing menstrual pain crisis which almost landed me in the hospital, from normal headaches to nausea so high I sleep with my head on the toilet in case I vomit my insides in it, from lack of energy to alarming weight loss despite eating my fair share of food and sometimes more, and from feeling laziness to feeling severe motivation problems that forced me to abandon college lest I fail my courses by lack of studies, I've had my fair share of trials since I started writing. And now that I'm out of school grounds and faced with the harsh reality that is our beautiful planet slowly going to hell in a handbasket, survival is something that's taking more and more of my time, though I still spend half of it on the computer (which is the only thing keeping me sane at the moment)._

_I dunno what my life has in store for me. I dunno how I'm gonna end my stories. I still want to finish them though, while leading a good life. But the thing is, will I be able to do both?_

_See ya all next time guys,_

_AF_


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